Homelessness · Jobless and Broke · Secrets · Starting over Series · Uncategorized

Starting over at 27 Episode 2

Today was a roller-coaster. I started off pretty optimistic. I told myself all the positive crap to not feel pathetic.

“Today is gonna be awesome!”

“Where there is a will, there is a way.”

“You can do anything!”

Ha, if I got a dollar for every time I reassured myself that things were going to be alright, I’d at least be able to afford dinner tonight. I got up even before the sun did. I pulled up the legit freelance sites I knew – Fiverr, Freelancer, Upwork and Guru. Created my profiles and applied to any and everything. How many replies do you think I received? Well, I kept my profiles active so I could reply straight away while I researched other means of making money. By 3 pm, not one person replied.

Was my profile that bad? Was the competition that tight?Did anyone bid lower than a $1 (I had to put that in the offer I sent)? Can you imagine how I felt? My hopes were thrown in the sewage. By 4 pm, I had a massive headache. My left side of my brain felt like a truck had just sat on it. My eyes burned. I was about to take a break from the computer when I heard a ding.

Was that my first potential customer? I jumped on it like I just won a million dollars. The potential customer was from India. He sent a reply “Sen me skyp” . I overlooked the errors and sent him my Skype ID. We added each other. I asked him for a few minutes. I suspected this was an interview so I moved like Flash, throwing my best suit and ensuring my appearance was tidy. 

“I’m ready.” I sent as a message.

“r u male” he sent back. I knew he was referring to my painting of Tupac.

“No, that’s just a painting of Tupac.”

He called right away then.  I hesitated for a few seconds, that question threw me off a bit. Why did it matter?

I answered the call.

“What can you do?” he said.

I gave him a list of my skills, achievements, etc.

“You live alone?”

There he went throwing me off-guard again.

“you know no distractions?”

“I do.” I answered. He looked at me intensely. I lowered my eyes. My finger nudging to hit the end button.

“Tell me more about you.” He then said.

I gave him a professional bio.

“Such a pretty girl., why live alone?”

So much for giving him the benefit of the doubt. I was just about to end the call when he blurted out

“Wait, I give you $500 US to twerk in a thong for me.”

That was it. I cut him off. I was desperate, not ‘dignityless’.

A Skype message came in as soon as I ended the call.

“$1000 US!” he sent. I blocked him immediately.I logged out of my Skype, turned off my computer and lied on my bed.

What should a woman do to make some decent, clean money? My options were lessening the closer it came to rent day. Additionally, I had almost no food. What to do, Deidra? What to do now?

I reached for my phone, turned my music on. Sia’s “Alive” started to play.  The sun was going down, embracing me in its pale light. I closed my eyes and started to sing with Sia while hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

 

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